When estate planners work with elderly clients, the dynamic often involves not just the client but also their adult children. Managing these relationships requires a delicate balance to ensure that the client’s wishes are respected while also addressing the concerns of their children. This blog explores the estate planner’s role in navigating this complex dynamic and the responsibilities they hold.
Understanding the Dynamic Between Elderly Clients and Their Children
The primary responsibility of an estate planner is to the elderly client, ensuring that their wishes are fully understood and reflected in the estate plan. However, adult children often become involved, especially when the client faces physical or cognitive challenges. While the children’s involvement can be beneficial, it’s crucial that their role does not overshadow the client’s autonomy.
Conflicts can arise when the client’s wishes differ from the children’s perspectives. An estate planner must skillfully manage these situations, ensuring that the client’s voice remains central to the process.
Responsibilities of the Estate Planner
- Maintaining Confidentiality: Protecting the confidentiality of the client’s information is crucial. An estate planner should only share details with the children if the client has given explicit consent. Clear boundaries and necessary authorizations are essential to maintain trust and ethical integrity.
- Assessing Capacity: Assessing the mental capacity of an elderly client is a critical responsibility. If there are concerns about the client’s ability to make informed decisions, the estate planner may need to involve medical professionals or consider legal mechanisms such as guardianship. This must be handled with care to avoid distress.
- Acting as an Advocate: The estate planner must act as an advocate for the elderly client, ensuring their estate plan reflects their true wishes. This involves managing family dynamics and addressing any potential undue influence from the children.
- Facilitating Communication: Open communication is key in these situations. The estate planner should facilitate discussions between the client and their children, ensuring everyone understands the plan and its implications. However, the planner must be prepared to mediate disagreements and prioritize the client’s wishes.
- Documentation and Legal Compliance: Meticulous documentation of all decisions and interactions is necessary. The estate planner must ensure that the estate plan complies with legal requirements and accurately reflects the client’s wishes. This includes keeping records of communications with the children.
- Ethical Considerations: Ethical considerations are at the heart of an estate planner’s role. This includes managing potential conflicts of interest, ensuring that the client is not being coerced, and maintaining professional integrity throughout the process.
Working with elderly clients and their adult children requires a careful, balanced approach. The estate planner’s primary duty is to the client, ensuring that their autonomy, wishes, and best interests are protected. By maintaining confidentiality, assessing capacity, advocating for the client, and facilitating open communication, the estate planner can effectively navigate this complex dynamic, ensuring the estate plan truly reflects the client’s desires while managing the involvement of their children appropriately.
Lori Vella is an Estate Planning and Business Attorney. She works virtually throughout Florida and New York, but has her home office in Tampa, Florida. She is mom to a little boy which ignited the passion for helping other families. She and her son enjoy car rides, playgrounds and taking mini-adventures. They also have an organic garden that surprisingly yields vegetables. Lori considers herself well-versed in Seinfeld and welcomes any trivia!
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