Do you have fears as a parent? I sure did, and I still do. Recalling sitting in a dark room circa 2016, rocking a restless toddler to sleep. Rocking and rocking until my arms hurt. The parental books (the “swaddling,” the “soothing,” etc) had failed me. “This is why people shouldn’t have kids when they are older,” I thought to myself (I had Gianni at 40). “Why won’t this kid sleep?”
The night-time fears as a parent
Hours of alone time for parents usually result in over-thinking, which then may turn to fear. We contemplate all we must do and how much we love these babies. Sleep-deprived, overwhelmed and run-down, our thoughts turn to panic. What will happen if we cannot do “all the things??” Minds start racing. “What will happen if I’m not around?”
This sums up the first years of my nights with my son. Tell me I’m not alone in this experience!
Using fear as a motivator
These late night thoughts and fears actually created my law practice. Deciding to focus again on Wills, Trusts and nominating guardians for children was not accidental. Parents, like me, need to get plans in place for their families. That is just a fact. So, my law practice started its focus on young parents, unlike other estate planning firms, that focused on the aging population.
It happened organically. Starting out first set to develop a complete “emergency plan system” to avoid, at all costs, the real possibility of foster case. After all, the needs we must address begin the moment we leave our children temporarily (e.g., for work), to longer times away (short vacations), to the unthinkable…. (long-term illness or death).
Sometimes we avoid these thoughts as they seem negative, daunting and morbid. But what if we shook up our feelings about preparation? Life has no guarantees (a cliché we all know) but we can be prepared. It is the same as developing strategies to help preserve our money and determine how best to pass it on, if needed. These things need to be done and we are strong enough to take them on (I mean, we are parents, aren’t we?).
Parent + Fear = Results
When I coupled my own fears as a parent, with my estate planning knowledge, the force became unstoppable. This area of law spoke to me, reading book after book, soaking in knowledge by grilling the experts in the field. Parents often do not know what they need. They do not know who will really help them; someone that can be trusted. Our law firm goal serves those parents. We set out to be the voice for children, helping parents eradicate procrastination and just get plans in place (that is our January theme—“Get it Done in ’21.”). You can accomplish, in a few short weeks, guardian nominations, Will designations, Trust guidelines, powers of attorney to care for minor children, and other important legal documents.
Huge Responsibility, Bigger Rewards
My earnest wishes for the safety and comfort of my own son come through in the creation of estate plans for other families.
Have you ever felt a calling? Something that just bugged you at night and you had to do no matter what? I’m just a mom that has gone to law school. A parent that has spent hundreds of hours learning how to best protect my family, imagining every contingency and creating a strategy. Other parents are meant to benefit from my years of legal training….and sleepless nights.
No Easy Burden. But, we are tough and capable.
The fear and stress of being a parent is not an easy burden for us to bear. Parents worry. That’s what we do. From my own experience, I can share that tackling these legal papers and setting up a system to encounter any potential mishaps, greatly releases the anxiety. It frees up our thoughts so we can enjoy our children, relax in our lives and just live in the moment.
Would you like to free up your negative thoughts fearful of the future?
Would you like to work together, parent to parent to help you secure your family?
How about starting off this new year on the right track accomplishing something amazing for your family?
If this sounds like something you need, you are welcome to set a free 10 minute call on my calendar to get to know each other and swap some “late-night” stories. Yes, it is emotionally tough to get started. There may be tears and you may feel uncomfortable. But, I’m a parent too so I get it. We can face these challenges together.
*Photo: That time Gianni decided not to walk on the hour-long journey down this mountain (French Alps).
Lori Vella is an Estate Planning and Business Attorney. She works virtually throughout Florida and New York, but has her home office in Tampa, Florida. She is mom to a little boy which ignited the passion for helping other families. She and her son enjoy car rides, playgrounds and taking mini-adventures. They also have an organic garden that surprisingly yields vegetables. Lori considers herself well-versed in Seinfeld and welcomes any trivia!
Disclaimer: The Law Office of Lori Vella’s website contains general information directed to Florida residents. This firm does not intend to give legal advice through its pages and/or blog. If you need legal advice, we encourage you to find an attorney licensed in your state. This language on this website does not create an attorney-client relationship between you and this firm.